sprezzatura

34867) Sometimes I think about doing meth because it will make me lose weight.

i considered doing heroin for the same reason.

(Source: confessionsabouteatingdisorders)

boyfriend unlocks/opens bathroom door after dinner. 

him: “what’re you doing in here?”

me: “purging.”

boyfriend: “what? how? you were so quiet!”

lolololololololol. yeah, seven years of practice does that. 

34872) It’s like…Once I get the idea into my head about a craving or a binge food, I NEED to binge. I NEED to eat that. No matter how much that voice tells me not to, there’s another voice calling out to me.

endlessfragments:

omg

(Source: confessionsabouteatingdisorders, via a-heart-so-weak)

I’m smaller than I’ve been in years, but all I can feel is fat, everywhere. 

9555) I feel pretty when I don’t eat.

(Source: edconfessions, via iwillbeasizezero)

can’t change my URL on this blog. so everybody follow my new one. i follow back!

allthedevilsare—here.tumblr.com
allthedevilsare—here.tumblr.com
allthedevilsare—here.tumblr.com

So I’ve missed you all.

I’m out of treatment, FINALLY, and ready to get healthy again. Looking into gym memberships and healthy food that I can keep in the house. Bulimia caused me to gain back all of the weight I lost, and I’m not even a little bit thrilled with that. 

This is me coming back. I’ll post a picture of my NEDA tattoo in a minute. For those of you who don’t have an eating disorder, the national eating disorders association has a symbol, and it’s used by most of us in recovery as both a motivator and as something to show what we’ve been through. I got it the day I was released from partial hospitalization, and it’s finally healing up nicely.

So yes. I’ve missed you, Tumblr-land, but now I’m back. :)